Tips for Having the Conversation With Your Loved One

Come prepared for the conversation

People often make the mistake of talking with their loved ones about senior living options without first becoming familiar with them. Before starting the conversation, it’s important to know about levels of care, the costs of senior living, and which lifestyle option is best suited for your loved one. Discussing senior living without being prepared can cause your loved one to resist it, and often creates more questions than it answers. Familiarize yourself with the levels of care available at CRISTA Senior Living so you can explain them clearly to your loved one. 

Reviewing services and amenities is important in making sure that your loved one can lead a comfortable and fulfilled life. Be sure to check out photo galleries and social media pages for a candid look into the kind of lifestyle available. Be sure to read online reviews, too, to get a glimpse into what other families have experienced.

We know these can be tough conversations. Our team wrote this blog, How to Bring Up Senior Living, to be a resource to you and your family.

Be Proactive

It would be nice to remain autonomous for the entirety of one’s retirement, but the truth is that most of us will experience changing needs that require an additional level of support at some point or another. Because of this, it is recommended to bring up the subject before it is needed. This can eliminate some of the tension from the conversations later on when the need becomes more pressing. It is recommended that adult children ask their parents about their future plans and wishes so that they can be sure to take the right actions should something ever happen. Be sure to express that it is a decision to be made together and that their wishes, wants and needs are important. No one likes being told what to do, especially when it comes to major life milestones. By creating an ongoing conversation both parties have the time and space to formulate ideas and arrive at the best decision together. What’s more, you will be on track for a smooth transition when the time comes.

Having the Conversation With Family Members

It’s important for families to get siblings on the same page about the next steps to help ease the transition and minimize conflict. This can be a sensitive and complicated task, whether due to volatile relationships, geographical distance, differing opinions or varying relationships or facetime with the person. Oftentimes, one sibling winds up becoming the effective caregiver for the person—generally the one that lives nearest or spends the most time with them. They are often the person who first realizes the need for a lifestyle transition. This can be difficult to communicate to siblings who are less involved, live farther away, or are less likely to perceive or understand the need.

The caregiver should call a family meeting to address the topic and prepare by gathering anecdotes or evidence to support the proposition. Sometimes, it can be as simple as a heart-to-heart, but many are not so fortunate. If things get heated and anecdotal evidence isn’t enough, it can be useful to involve an objective third party such as a geriatric care manager. This person’s role is to use their education and experience in aging services to assess a senior’s individual situation and guide them and their family to the best outcome. They are generally social workers or licensed nurses who have no allegiance to senior care organizations and whose job it is to provide ideal outcomes rather than to promote one single solution. This can help the caregiver sibling credibility if their family member does indeed need a new situation, or conversely, it can reveal that the next step is not necessary at the current juncture. This way, each party is motivated to participate on the process.